It’s supposed to get easier?
I miss you, mom. A lot. It sounds incredibly lame when I type it out like this, though. Words don’t do ANY justice.
I wish I could just pick up the phone and text or call you. My only outlet is updating this tumblr account each time I want to reach you.
People say it’ll get easier to deal with the fact that you’re gone. But as I slowly regain my strength, it seems like it’s actually getting harder. Why is that? It feels like it is 10x more difficult on certain days. But on other days, it’s bearable.
I really, really, really miss your presence. Again, this sounds stupid as I type it out. Even if we were cities apart, I always took solace in the fact that you were physically somewhere and that I could always reach you. I didn’t always call you everyday, but I took for granted that you were somewhere. Now I won’t ever be able to drive over to give you a hug, or talk about random things, or share a tasty meal with you at Yen Du, Red Lobster, or ShoMi. For heaven’s sake; I can’t even text you and have it ACTUALLY REACH you.
I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re no longer physically around. But I shouldn’t ignore the possibility that you may still be around; just not in physical form. As crazy as it sounds, I find comfort in the loud clicks I hear when I talk to you out loud, or when you appear in my dreams. I pray that your soul is at rest and that you are happy and at peace. I love you.
